VIII. How to Radiate Strength & Confidence
A Modern Spartan is the ultimate example of superior physical and mental strength.
The epitome of a healthy constitution and fortitude.
Forged from the fires of his purpose-driven Spartan training.
His idealized, ripped muscular physique, relentless stamina, and high energy levels broadcast to all who meet him: Here is a man who does not settle. He does whatever is necessary.
This stems from an earlier episode where we talked about ‘being’ versus ‘doing’ versus ‘having’.
When you get to the place where you have that ripped, Spartan body, almost everyone who comes in contact with you will notice it and many will comment on it. It is impossible for people not to notice. And when people start noticing you they may likely reach out to you for help because they associate someone in really good shape with someone that knows what they’re doing. This puts you in a position to help people.
Strength exudes confidence.
So how do we increase our strength? Strength is typically produced from some type of stress, stress to our bodies in, for example, a good workout. Stress is any event that produces a change in our state whether it be physical or non physical.
A example of a non physical strength can be a decision you have to make – a move, a new job, asking that girl out, etc.
We get stronger when we stress ourselves.
A good example of physical stress is when you do a weight training exercise such as a bench press. When you first start out you lift a lighter amount but as you train more and more you add more weight which causes a stress on your body. This added stress causes the muscle fibers to tear and then regrow back even stronger. This is how our muscles get bigger and we increase our strength.
Now too much stress can be a bad thing.
You have to balance yourself with the right amount and kind of stress. You can overstress yourself both with working out too much or by placing too many stresses on your body (e.g. worrying, etc.) On the opposite end of the scale, doing something one time isn’t enough stress and doesn’t make for a growth opportunity, You have to do it more often so your body adapts and ultimately learns from it. Thats why new things are hard because your body wants to resist the stress being put on it – but it will grow as a result..
Lets take a real life example. Some people stress about speaking in front of crowds.
Other people are really good at it. If you talk to the people who are good at it you’ll likely find that they’ve had a lot of practice. It’s gotten easier and easier for them. What more than likely started as a stressful situation turned into a situation where they got stronger and more confident as a result.
Let’s talk some more about Confidence.
Confidence is the belief in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way.
No one is born with confidence.
It’s not a trait or a gift or a magic potion or a pill. Its just like a muscle in that it builds up over time when you use it. It may not be as easy to see as a muscle, but it will be noticeable to others around you. You grow your confidence when have successes over and over again.
Here are three strategies that I’ve developed to help build and increase confidence in yourself.
#1 – Keep a log. Confidence comes from the experience of success, both big and small. One thing I found very helpful is to keep all my victories, big and small, in a log that I can refer back to. All of these are experiences and examples of success are important. Your job is to remind yourself of past successes because we have a tendency to forget them as time goes by. That’s where the log comes in. I call mine my “Awesome Log” and I write in it every successful experience that happens to me. You don’t have to look at it often. Use it for times when you are down and it will help you feel better.
#2 – Think Positive. Our minds are like banks – you make deposits and withdrawals of all the time. Sometimes we put some positive thoughts in our ‘account’ and sometimes we put in some negatives in our account. The teller is a neutral party – they don’t care what you put in or take out – they don’t judge you. If you load up your mind with negative thoughts, the teller will continue to accept you negative thoughts if you want to give them to him. But doing so can become a bad cycle. You have to get out of the habit of focusing on the negative. You should just put in and take out positive thoughts. Throw away the negative things. Negative things are no more likely to happen then positive things. There’s a 50-50 chance either way. Our natural thought is to think that negative stuff is more likely to happen. You need reverse that trend and continue depositing positive thoughts. That will build your confidence.
#3 – Change your attitude by changing your actions. To think confidently start acting confident – be a front seater. Don’t sit in the back when you attend some event like a meeting or church or school or whatever. Make eye contact with everyone you talk to. There is nothing good about failure to make eye contact with those we interact with, When you don’t do that it’s like telling that other person that I feel weak and inferior next to you. Making eye contact will not only increase your confidence but it will help others feel you are confident too. It will show you are open and authentic. Speak up at meetings – don’t let the meeting end by thinking to yourself I wish I had said something, or maybe next time I will speak up. And finally Smile Big – its been proven over and over again that this helps you act more confidently.
So I hope these tips help you but remember – no matter how confident you are today no matter what you do, never retreat, never surrender and keep moving forward!